Neglect

Ok so, I'm completely neglecting this site. Not just this site in particular so much as my dating life. After my last, we'll call it a break up of sorts, I've come to the conclusion that I'm not going to date. I'm taking a hiatus for a long time. I'm tired of Mr. Right now, and until I find someone worth dating, I'm not dating. I've been spoiled now that I know a good guy can exist, and that good guys also date in a responsible way and that not all men are just trying to sleep with you. I know, right it happens? It was shocking but I kid you not. Gems exist and I'm not dating till I find another, I'm over these pricks who think "I'm a lawyer" is a pick up line. It's not sir, it's your profession and I'm not impressed. So that is where my dating life is or rather is not.

If you're still interested in me (it happens) even without my dating life, go here to creep on me without my knowledge: http://reallymooredating.blogspot.com

Be warned though, I know how many people read it and when. It also lists where you found my link from, the country, time and what kind of browser you have. So really I know who is reading and when in a general sense. So if you're stalking me from Egypt lets say... I know. Oh yea.


That site is way more interesting though, and will have stories up from my dating life. Whether or not they're recent is for me to know and you to wonder.

Ok so yea. I will start reposting here if/when I start dating again.

Blowing up Ponies

I'm not sure which part of this makes me upset... it's either a.) that a perfectly good stuffed pony is being blown up. b.) that tax dollars are blowing up said pony or c.) cnn felt taping this was needed.

Pony being blown up

You'll have to click the link to see it. Apparently I appear to be 13, so I'm not allowed to post the actual clip.

i was gone for a min, but now i'm back

so after what looked like a hiatus, i'm back in full force for the dating blogs again (chevelle please keep your shreeks of happiness to a low roar.) So starting tomorrow, or I guess today but in a long ass time, i will begin getting back to exposing (exploiting) every moment of my dating life.

The running of the bases

So last night was a pretty epic Phillies game. Not only was the game good, but it was just so fun. Between the tailgating, the horrible-whorish things that come out of my mouth (and cait and maddy's) it was all around pretty epic. The one thing that i really could have asked for was the wave. The wave is a sports phenomenon. I can only hope that someday I too can participate. I will say this baseball games are also a fantastic way to meet guys, who knew single guys liked baseball?? Not this girl.

Side note: taking a mostly empty beer bottle and putting it between your cleavage, then blowing into said bottle turns it into a great noise maker, just sayin.

Nerd Alert

So I just need a nerd alert moment... this website is the freekin bomb.com. not literally of course, but seriously it's like every random word ever. It just is like amazing.

http://phrontistery.info/m.html

Family

I love my family dearly, both my moms and my dads. The two really couldn't be anymore opposite of each other. My mom has two sisters who are single on with a Lil girl, and then my grandmother who i hold so close to my heart. My dad is one of 9 (now 7) and they're the family that's also you're friend. We had a family reunion, which I was so late to, but I loved it so much. I love my cousins because we're all so completely different, I'm more shy and take a while to warm up to everyone which is silly but still, Robert and Tommy have such great stage presence and are amazing performers. Go New Kings! Craig is so relaxed I mean I have a ton of cousins but it's so nice to have all these people from such difference places and experiences converge.  Family really is what gets people going. I always and forever will remember the crazy multi-language parties at my uncle Tommy's house. Especially when it gets hot out like this, he's on my mind a lot. His son Tommy is my age and when you have this big Irish families you just melt together so no one ever wants to leave a party. I just rem. swimming for hours, and chasing the cats, and Tommy's Ayah talking to me (in Romanian?) and feeding me the best cookies and then pinching my cheeks. Those are the memories you never forget and make your heart swell and cry a little too. I really hope that my family can get back to a place like that and create memories like that soon, because often it seems we're all a little lost and time is short.


 I also want to give a big credit to my cousin-in-law, who I'm just calling my cousin from now on, RENEE PERNA. During the reunion she told me to start a blog because she thought my fb posts were funny. So this is all now dedicated to her.

I see skies of blue...

I'm not so sure that this song actually relates to anything I'm about to post but who doesn't love good ole Louis. For this blog I'm going to break it into smaller parts.

Lent: So I did really well for all of lent, I completed all of my goals successful except for posting a lot. That part makes me mad. It's something I love doing because it allows so much stress to be relieved from my life, but it's time that I can't always set aside. So that was Lent...

Post Lent Updates

School: I was informed I was on academic probation, which I wasn't so shocked about because I knew I was going to get a 'c' in one class. I realized at a certain point that one class needed to suffer for the other two and my job to succeed. So one class was left to the wayside. Not proud, but life moves on, I can't be perfect all the time and I need to not obsess about a 4.0 all the time. I love my summer classes and am no longer working which I will elaborate in the next section...

Life: I had been training for the Philadelphia Marathon and was so excited to be running it. A lot of my friends were doing it in honor of one of the guys uncles who passed away. I am an obsessive runner, so it seemed like no sweat to me. In April I was having a lot of chest pain and problems breathing so I saw my doctor and had my inhalers adjusted. Then I passed out at home after a very very short run. I went to my doctor who thought I was fine (he was being optimistic not malicious) but readjusted my inhalers in case and got me a small nebulizer as a precaution. However he did an in office tilt test and suspected something was wrong but not to worry for now. I knew something bigger was wrong and consulted a second doctor who made me feel like i was nuts, and if I'm going to be accused of being nuts I'm gonna go all out. I contacted a cardiologist who saw me immediately, and told me I needed a TILT Table test and a plethora of other cardiac tests done. He said my heart rate was abnormally high and that i needed these done asap. I was put on bed rest. The next week I was in and out of the hospital. The worst was the TILT test, they strap you to a bed and cover you in sensors, then the bed flips up so you're standing (in my case my heart rate laying was 75-80 bpm, but standing was 140-143) the range I'm in often causes people to just pass out because your heart can't understand to slow down. So since I didn't pass out they then gave me a pill that put me into cardiac arrest momentarily (a mild heart attack) and then monitored that till I passed out. Gonna be honest, heart attacks suck, if you can avoid one I implore you to do it. I got sent home and was in bed for 3 days. Your body just can't physically handle any movement. I took a shower that was about it. The first two meds I was put on didn't work, but now I'm on my third and hoping this one works as planned. Then hopefully I can get back to normal. So for now the diagnosis is..... chronic neurocardiogenic syncope. Don't google it, it will scare you. and no one needs to be scared.

Dating: I date. You date. We all date....

Work: NO WORK YAAAYYY. Quiting my job was the best decision ever. Sure I miss making $500 a night, but it wasn't worth the harm it was putting on my body.

Drama: Friends do dumb shit and at the end of the day you learn to love it, or you move on. I burn bridges and I think a few people are aware that they're lucky their bridge wasn't burned. We (as people) need to careful think about the relationships that we want in our lives. Cherish the ones you want and either end or neglect the rest. Just never lie.

So these are my personal updates. :)

Hair

Lent is going fine, I've yet to break any rules. Can't tell if that disappoints me or makes me happy. Regardless time for a new topic.

Hair. Do it define you or do you define it.

I believe that hair defines you. I'm a rainbow hair colored girl. I've had it all. Most recently I made the change from big blonde hair to brunette. I love my dark hair, and while it's not natural... it's not fake. A lot of people (mostly men) cannot understand why my hair is dark. Well here it goes: it's dark because I'm sick.  No one ever wants to admit when they're sick, but guess what? I am and its something thats taken me years to deal with, and now everyone else can deal with it. This isn't something where I'll die (although we all do) this is just something where I get really sick really easily all the time. Treatment wise I've done and am doing all I can. If their is a test or a scan I've probably done it. I've had tons of things and medications in the past two years or so that have trashed my immune system to the point where my hair cannot even stand to be processed. I was watching this video my dr gave me and everyone in the video had horrible hair, and I started to cry because I feel like my hair has in large part defined who I am as a woman. I realized that if I wanted to keep my long voluminous hair, I was going to have to not highlight it until my protein levels were regulated and kept a steady level. So while, yes my hair is significantly darker than its ever been or will naturally be, I'm also allowed to keep it on my head which is kind of more important than what color it is. It's also taught me that my physical appearance shouldn't dictate who I am as a woman. While I love everything about me and I expect men too as well, the definition of beauty needs to not be so physical. The definition of you as a person shouldn't be physical, because physical isn't permanent, but your actions and the cause of those actions is permanent. So instead of letting my hair define me, I'm going to stop saying
"I dyed my hair to be taken more seriously", and start admitting why this is happening. Who knows maybe it can help someone else in the process.

Lent: When we try to do things we epically fail at

Ok, so this Lenten season I'll be 'giving up' lots of things that I know I shouldn't do anyway and have constant roca (roman-catholic) guilt over. For those who don't understand lent, it's basically like a new years resolution but if you break it, it's a sin so God will be pissed and then you'll have to go to confession where a priest will make you repent. I'll bullet list it to make it short.

Things that are being given up:
*Alcohol: All forms with the exception of wine (if I can drink it in church, I can drink it in real life)
*Men: I get a muligan, which can be applied to a person or action. Example: I start dating someone (gasp) or make out with a rando at a bar. I get one of either, not both.
*Snacks between 12am-8am: Obvious police on this one
*Video games: With the exception of n64

Things to do:
*Gym: 4 times a week at least
*Typing class notes: 1 week to complete 1 week
*Buying tickets for things on time: Concerts, planes, hotel reservations, trains...
* Going to DC

I mean it's only 40 days, I think I can suck it up for 40 days,  if not then I'll just be in church a lot.

CoCo not CoEd

So I attended and all womens college in South Carolina, now my school in particular is jokingly thought of as a place where girls go to become wives. This bullshit, Converse is the place where southern women (and not so southern in my case) go to figure out who the hell they are without the concern of a man. I'm not saying that we are all lesbians and hate men, we don't hate men if anything we love them more because they're never present in class to make lude comments. And trust me when I say, we love sneaking yall in and out of our door rooms at night.
 So my girlfriend Ridgley and I were at lunch today and got on the subject of dating and how guys seem to like us more than the girls at opposing schools. Well duh they like us more. We aren't in their faces, and basing our worlds around theirs. Guys love attention but they love being left alone sometimes too, ya know to do man things like play video games and stuff that we don't want to do. So we let them do their thing and we do ours and we meet in the middle and its perfect. ITs great that we have this misconception that converse is a primping school, because when guys meet us they're blown back by that yes we are pretty and have morals but omg they love sports and muddin too! On a side note, since we don't stalk you in school and living situations, we're able to just be ourselves. So men please don't be discouraged by the female gender, because a small portion of us want to wake up to sports center, want to go shooting and fishing and really really really want to go to sporting events. We're here come find us haha.

If a man buys you dinner...

In talking with a few 'older' single women the topic of dating came up  (big surprise), and they wanted to know how dating works for my generation. I was slightly perplexed about this in part because I don't think dating as a whole has evolved a great deal. As far as I was aware the idea of dinner and a movie is as standard as black stilettos. After a while I started to realize that it wasn't the physical action of dating, so much as the post-date expectations. I was quite frank in my explanation of "Well that depends on the person you're on the date with, but no girl should sleep with someone on a first date." I was shocked to hear that this woman had stopped dating due to the fact that personally she felt obligated to sleep with everyone she dated, and more importantly the men she dated felt this way too. I think that the caliber of men you date needs to dictate your actions. If you're going to date a man whore, expected to be treated like a whore. Date someone who treats you like the person you are, or you want to be. Never settle for anything less. 

Tuesday  I went on a first date with someone I've had a crush on for years. I know I was nervous but he came up to my door came in and talked to my parents and we went out . It seems silly but that really is how a guy is judged. So then we went out to dinner, he opened every door, held my hand and just made me feel so comfortable and special. And then we watched christmas movies. I've never had such an amazing first date in my life. Sometimes life throws you a storm, when that storm happens... go to a bar and find a man. Ladies I'm usually negative on the dating but any man can turn your outlook around, i mean mine is totally changed. This man dances with me (and not to rap) holds my hand, kisses me at the prefect time, and just makes me feel amazing, but it takes two to tango so go slow and enjoy the ride to its fullest. I really believe that everyone has a match, you just have to wait and god will supply.      

And now your dating update

Every girl knows that a real date comes to your door, and meets you parents they all say hello, and yea it's awkward as heck, but that's how you have their first impression. A guy who is timid and shy is always going to be timid and shy doing anything the first time around. A guy who is an ass and doesn't come to your door to get you, is always going to be an ass and honk outside (DO NOT GO TO THAT CAR). A guy who comes up (without any hesitation) meets your parents in a cool and calm way is amazing. But the one who meets them, and talks with them and holds your hand is a keeper.

Everything we feel is real and its felt for a reason

Tonight I had a professor who I adore  request a book I wrote senior year of college. Now it's a photo book: so its mostly images with minimal text. However my problem is how personal my book is to me, or was to me. The book I wrote was called lessons of a graduate: 16 lessons for 16 years. It's over whelming the emotions I get looking through this short book, even the images provoke some crazy stuff. It's mostly abstract but it's my life, its the things I saw where I had a moment that lead to a change in my life. I wrote this at the worst time of my relationship, about a week before it ended, and I remember crying over the images in my hands. Not knowing if i wanted to imortalise these memories and feeling and times when I didn't know I knew they would mean nothing in a matter of days. Sure enough I had it published and copied, only to sit with a few other books I wrote for my portfolio. It just sits their in my office and it does nothing, but when I open it, I cry buckets. Its a flood of emotions from happiness to regret, love to hate, fear to rebirth,  It's amazing that something so small holds so much of my life without things being written down verbatim. And as I share this with new students I hope they get to understand the power that comes with such emotional experience like creating that was for me.

Back to life

So I'd like to apologize for being MIA lately, I've been incredibly sick for the past few weeks, and of those who knew I appreciated the prayers and support. With one of my posts I promised to reference my own personal relationship experiences, after much scrutiny from critics. So I'm going to lay it all out so we're all clear on where I am coming from. I don't really know where to start, so we'll start with high school I guess... I dated a lot of people and was known as a tease, I hated boys from my school (sorry guys) and so I dated people from other schools. These are the longest relationships I've had...I had a boyfriend for almost two years, we went to each others formals.... until he got arrested the night before mine, and we broke up (i was unaware of the drug issues he had). Then as we were talking about getting back together, he found out he got someone pregnant so that ended that. He was a really amazing person, who just got mixed into the wrong things at the end of the day, but none the less an amazing person. He was easily the first guy to make me feel like the center of the world, it was a beautiful and pure relationship.

I then dated every high school stereotype I could find, to see what I wanted. I had a really nice guy who respected me as a woman, but just wasn't right, so I moved on. I dated a Marine who was the best gentleman in the world and perfect, but not for me.

The next one started the summer before my senior year of h.s. about a year after the other ended. I dated people in between but never really like anyone. I got set up this time and it worked out really well. We went to formals, parties everything together and it was amazing. When college started we lived in diff. states, so i would go to visit on my time off and he came home for holidays. I moved closer to be with him, and I love my school and my decision to move regardless of any outcomes. however before i moved, he cheated on me and lied about it. we didn't speak for 2 months when he showed up at my birthday party at home and we reconnected. we talked constantly and when i moved we were officially back together. two years later, after a lot of love, turmoil and pain we broke up again. it was a shock to me at the time, but he had cheating again. in hindsight our relationship was over for a really long time, but to betray someone as a friend like that is unthinkable. no one ever wants to let go of their first true love, but i have mine. to this day it hurts, and i don't think that hurt will ever really go away.

So that brings me to my present sort of. right after my break-up i was lucky to meet a really true guy, due to my moving back north we never dated, but he was able to get me to laugh, and go out, and get me to feel emotions that i thought i had lost. most of all he made me feel more beautiful than any beauty queen in the state of south carolina, and thats a lot of girls let me tell ya. .... ( i reserve the right to elaborate on this later)

Men are a huge maker or breaker in women's lives, I really feel strongly on that. As women we need to weed out the good ones from the bad ones. I think its safe to say I've been with the good the bad and the ugly. But what doesn't work for one woman will work for a another, so I hope this helps women see that while we need to guard our hearts, we need to test all the waters to find out fish in that sea.

Trying is never ok

Trying to do something is never ok. You should never say "well I tried really hard ..." because what you're really saying is I didn't do it. Why bother if you're not actually going to do? Suck it up and do it. That's how results are done people. I'm saying this because I'm writing a piece (good lord knows when it will be done) that is extremely personal to me, and I know I'm going to get a lot of support on from some people, but I'm also going to be crucified by others. I only ask that in the time between now and when I post this piece (you'll know it when you see it, but their will be others before it) that everyone read it for what it is and reflect on their own person and not judge anyone.

1200 miles to go...

Distance does not make the heart grow fonder, unless the distance is only for about a weeks time. Long distance is torture. It takes a lot out of a relationship, it creates crates, blame and hurt. Some couples are bigger than it, but most aren't. If you live far enough that it will take more than 12 hours to get there on a whims notice, it's like an early grave. Sometimes the best thing to do, is to end on the best of terms and know that someday you can reunite if your paths cross again. Only the strong will survive. I'm not saying this in a pessimistic manner, but as a realist. As someone who has experienced the best and the worst of long distance relationships and someone who's witnessed a lot of them. It's a word of caution, because sometimes not even the strongest can survive, and as someone trying to survive loving someone so far away, it is the hardest thing in the world.

This is for God and the Gays...

I've been thinking about what love is and how people experience love, and there is something that I think I need to put out there: I love the gay community and I have the utmost respect for them, and why shouldn't I? Here's the thing, I know what it's liked to be judged and be judgy. I'm not going to lie that I judge people on a pretty consistent basis, however I also recognize the truly exquisite qualities that people posses. I've personally struggled with how I feel about gay marriage though, I'm not ashamed to admit it. I'm a fiscal conservative and Irish Catholic (means I hate government spending, I love that we have civil rights in this country regardless of if it's moral or not, and I grew up in a moral semi-shell.) I read about a football player today who has come to talk about why we should legalize gay marriage in America, amen. There is no reason that in this day and age that we shouldn't support the union of two happy and consenting adults who are madly and deeply in love. If I wanted to I could fly to Vegas get married and 12 hours later have it annulled, marriage means nothing if it's not based in purity, respect and love. So if this is the basis, we need to not limit who can love, or how their love is defined. Think about if someone told you you couldn't marry the love of your life, how would you feel. It's a Romeo and Juliet situation, but this time the names have changed and government is trying to be the parents. As adults we have the right to make decisions based upon our belief. If you believe gay marriage is wrong please consider why you think it's wrong, even the bible says that above all their is love, and that all people are equal. So shouldn't all people be treated equal with equal rights?

Dear men,

When you take us "little ladies" out on a date, please do not decide that you are Gods gift to women. The female race is really growing quite tired of being treated like a high school girl. Please don't down talk to me, or act like you know more than me. Because statistically, reality currently dictates that I am receiving a higher level of education than you. I may even have a better job, which you would know if you would let me speak. I'm not saying that I don't genuinely want to get to know you, because I'm sure you're a really great guy on the inside; but what I am saying is please remove that lovely emotional barrier that you have posted up, so that I don't think you're such a tool. Clearly I accepted this date because I like you, so why the front male race? I'm a person just like you, so talk to me like you would any other person please, I'm not saying to get rid of chivalry all together, but please don't be a tool, because that's just not cool.

Irrational fear of dating

Dating is nerve wracking. This is by far the hardest topic for me to write on because I hate dating, I think that dating doesn't really show you who a person is at the end of the day. Now I'm not saying that moving in with someone you just met is completely rational (because I'm not), I'm just saying that simply going to dinner, or drinks, or desert is not going to tell me anything about you. Dating is meant to create an impression of who you are, now after a few dates, you really get to know who a person is, and what they're all about. It's just the first three or so dates that are just really awkward. Maybe it's just me, I am enough awkward woman for all of America and some of Europe, but I don't think it is. I've asked a few other ladies on their takes on dating and everyone is on the same page. It sucks. You get all fancied up, go somewhere nice and spend a few hours with someone you turn out not to like so much, or have that much in common with. Now I'm not saying it's just unpleasant on the lady side of it all, I'm sure we all have disappointed a fair share of guys. But I also think the expectations of a 'date' are different between men and women. So here's a challenge then, someone come up with a way to by pass all the awkward first-few dating scenarios. Now I'm not talking online dating or anything like that, just someone please make this not awkward. Also I would like some male opinions on what they're expectations of a first date or so are...

On a second note though... maybe when we find 'the love', dating won't be so awkward... and it will be enjoyable. Just a thought...

TFLN

This is just because we all think this is kinda cool website, and it's so funny. TFLN was developed so people could submit embarrassing texts they received from friends or whoever really. I think that if you can take a situation lightly, and for what it is you will really enjoy that website. It never hurts to look, but it's so funny it may hurt from laughing.

IF you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with....

By far the worst song lyrics ever. Anyone whose truly madly deeply been in love, knows that they just need to follow it and have faith. You can't settle on love. I always say you have to like someone in order to love them. But just like love develops, it can also fade, and when it does fade you need to move on. Find the one you love, be with them and then you can love the one you're with because that's your real love. I think everyone has multiple soul mates, because I think people change so much over time that while one person might fit one day, the next day you may need a cowboy to sweep you off your feet. Maybe that cowboy is the one you're supposed to love, not the super stable rich guy. I think you just need to go with your gut reaction sometimes and always be with the one you love, through distance/pain/arguments/tornadoes... fight for it so that in the end you can love the one you're with.

Handling interference: Seeing an x's-family member.

I ran into this situation last night at a bar. Now granted I was doing nothing but hanging out with friends and enjoying a good drink, but suddenly I saw a familiar face, and it wasn't one I wanted to see. I saw my ex-boyfriends brother and all his friends. Now I live in a small town so I've been lucky to keep away from drama. So I turned around and collected myself and went back to hanging out with my friends. My friends are the reason I'm out and nothing should stop that. Through all the fear and anxiety I've been experiencing seeing people that may or may not like me, I've come to realize that I have to be strong and I have to remain who I am, not who people think I am. I am a strong independent woman, and every woman should be that way in the face of fear. If you can't be in charge of your social interactions then who is? We (as single ladies/men) need to be proud that we've over coming something so hard and dark, we're rising up and doing better than before. And you know what should an ex or an associate of come up to you and say something; be courteous at first, listen to them and then calmly respond. It isn't their fault you got messed with by some bad dude. They're people too and we need to extend a hand to anyone who is nice and loving. We need to show love and fierceness and not hide behind our dark memories.

I'm not saying forgive and forget, because while we do all need to forgive, we need not forget what that man/lady did to you. Just keep the faith that they will get theirs in the end.

Kissing on the first date

Kissing on the first date has always been a do or die thought. You either go ahead in to the date and do it, or you consciously think the whole time not kiss. I don't see a reason for one over the other if all we're talking about is a kiss. I know some women think that kisses are like saying hello after a while, but I personally think it's intimate. It's the first time you really allow yourself to be open and connect to another person. Also I think people who are against kissing on the first date, are against it in part because of what could happen from that kiss. It could lead to another kiss, a ride home, or a walk to a bedroom. Each choice is up to the woman getting kissed. I personally make them sweat it out a little I think it makes it better when you do have the big first kiss. But whoever you kiss make sure it's amazing, because if a first kiss is bad, it needs to be the last kiss you two have.

Your white knight

After the biggest heart break of your life, you always have a white knight come along to save you. He may be a guy who picked you up in a bar, a friend you've had a crush on, or a long lost love. Either way you must give love a chance. I don't care what form it comes in, or if it looks imperfect. Take every relationship on as if this is it, because at some point it will ultimately end, but you have to give it time to thrive and develop its time frame. I'm going to use a quote here that best describes how I feel on this. : "I may dissect each little thing and put myself out there so much but at least that means that I still care. Oh! You've think you won because women are expendable to you. You may not get hurt or make an ass of yourself that way but you don't fall in love that way either. You have not won. You're alone. I may do a lot of stupid shit but I'm still a lot closer to love than you are." Well I too may do a lot of stupid shit, but I really think I'm getting myself closer to love each time I make a really stupid mistake. So at least I'm learning, and I'm progressing. I'm not wallowing and wondering 'what if', I'm looking and searching and climbing and flying to get to love at all costs.

“A career is wonderful, but you can't curl up with it on a cold night.”

Marilyn Monroe spoke these wonderful and true words. This is a very personal struggle for me and I believe for lots of women it is too. How far are we willing to go to boost our careers? I think that life needs to be thought of in a broad picture. While you can have everything that comes your way, you have to find a balance of what you want, and what you need. As a designer I know that I cannot stay stationary for too long or I loose my open train of thought. So by planning trips and get aways, I get to expand my design ideas. I also get to meet new people and see new things, and maybe even visit a friend. Having a relationship can also broaden and enhance your career, by bringing in a new perspective. Having a full time relationship is totally possible with a wonderful career but it takes work, just like your career does. One person is never entirely responsible for whole relationship, it's a give and take. I think the more you give, and the more you allow to be given to you, the more successful you can be. I don't think Marilyn Monroe was trying to deter women from starting careers, she's just pointing out that it's hard work to have a career that is successful and its hard work to have a successful relationship. She clearly chose career in this instance, and wants women to know that it gets lonely you can't just let your work dominate your life. Your life needs to be explored to be completed.

A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend-and he's a priest.

For those who don't know this is an Erma Bombeck quote, and if you're not familiar with her please google her, she's hysterical and yet so realistic on women's movement issues. Now onto her quote... lets just agree to disagree on this one. It basically says a true friend will lie to you to save face. I don't think true friends should ever lie to you, however I think in the appropriate situation, blurring the lines a little to boost someones self esteem can be a good thing. No one likes to be the dumped person in a relationship, and a true friend knows how hurt you are on the inside when you boast the biggest front of all. Again I never think it's alright to lie, but every now and then the littlest embellishment is totally ok. In fact as a bestie, you might want to consider it your duty if you ever want your wing lady back. So next time after your friend is broken hearted, tell her no one would go near her ex with a ten foot pole at the bar. Tell her that her hair looks better than ever, even if it doesn't. Always be the friend that you would want to have.

"I just want to spend sometime with you"... in your pants.

... I really shouldn't have to say anything on this topic at all. However, since it was recently e-mailed to me as a request post, lets do it anyway. These words should never be uttered unless you are in a highly committed relationship and have been too busy with school/work/sick. If someone is saying this, what they really means is "I just want to spend sometime in your pants." It's fine when someone breeches you with this phrase, you should still find it flattering, just please don't go into any resulting situation thinking you'll just be talking. Unless this person is not interested in persons of the opposite sex, they don't want to talk and you're naive for thinking that. Common offenders of this phrase include but are not limited to: ex-persons, "friends", hook-ups, and most fraternity/sorority peoples.

Lycra dresses... the downfall of women

This is specifically dedicated to the northeastern section of America. Lycra dresses are the worst idea ever, no one regardless of how thin they think they are should ever wear one. The problem is not with the women it's really with the dress. Lets start with Lycra, its as unnatural as its name leads it to be. It's a chemically created fabric that is created to suck you in. I'm all for sucking it in to look a little thin, but when it's in dress form 3 key issues are presented:

1. It rides up, and pulling a dress up and/or down all night is not cute.

2. While it sucks in parts of you, it's bumping out others (ex: legs, arms, flattening your chest)

3. It's a hot, which means you will sweat more (no ladies you don't glisten)

Basically we all need to remember that while yes Lady GaGa looks uber-fabulous in her tight little mini-dress, and it looks sooooooooo adorable when we try it on (which it does), we need to remember that it will not stay cute so we must resists.

Mr. Right Now

Mr. Right Now is a classifications for the guys we all want to date, but we know we could never marry. While we as women are aware that Mr. Right Now is probably unstable job wise, likes to party, and or is geographically undesirable, we want to date him anyway. He's any guy from the charmer at a bar, to the smiler in the library. It's perfectly acceptable to date Mr. Right Now, you just need to keep your wits about you. The biggest current mistake that women are making is elevating each man to being their future husband. I think in order to discover our perfect man, we need to date Mr. Right Now so that we can determine what we don't want in a man. While Mr. Right Now could develop into the perfect guy for you, you need to realize that their is nothing wrong with a good time. We all need to date around to discover what we want. IT really is like sifting for gold in a mine. Go through the pebbles to find your gold. The most important thing is to have fun in every relationship, if you're not having fun it's not worth your time. Life is too short to be anything but happy, so why settle with Mr. Right Now when Mr. Right could be just around the corner...