Hair

Lent is going fine, I've yet to break any rules. Can't tell if that disappoints me or makes me happy. Regardless time for a new topic.

Hair. Do it define you or do you define it.

I believe that hair defines you. I'm a rainbow hair colored girl. I've had it all. Most recently I made the change from big blonde hair to brunette. I love my dark hair, and while it's not natural... it's not fake. A lot of people (mostly men) cannot understand why my hair is dark. Well here it goes: it's dark because I'm sick.  No one ever wants to admit when they're sick, but guess what? I am and its something thats taken me years to deal with, and now everyone else can deal with it. This isn't something where I'll die (although we all do) this is just something where I get really sick really easily all the time. Treatment wise I've done and am doing all I can. If their is a test or a scan I've probably done it. I've had tons of things and medications in the past two years or so that have trashed my immune system to the point where my hair cannot even stand to be processed. I was watching this video my dr gave me and everyone in the video had horrible hair, and I started to cry because I feel like my hair has in large part defined who I am as a woman. I realized that if I wanted to keep my long voluminous hair, I was going to have to not highlight it until my protein levels were regulated and kept a steady level. So while, yes my hair is significantly darker than its ever been or will naturally be, I'm also allowed to keep it on my head which is kind of more important than what color it is. It's also taught me that my physical appearance shouldn't dictate who I am as a woman. While I love everything about me and I expect men too as well, the definition of beauty needs to not be so physical. The definition of you as a person shouldn't be physical, because physical isn't permanent, but your actions and the cause of those actions is permanent. So instead of letting my hair define me, I'm going to stop saying
"I dyed my hair to be taken more seriously", and start admitting why this is happening. Who knows maybe it can help someone else in the process.