Back to life

So I'd like to apologize for being MIA lately, I've been incredibly sick for the past few weeks, and of those who knew I appreciated the prayers and support. With one of my posts I promised to reference my own personal relationship experiences, after much scrutiny from critics. So I'm going to lay it all out so we're all clear on where I am coming from. I don't really know where to start, so we'll start with high school I guess... I dated a lot of people and was known as a tease, I hated boys from my school (sorry guys) and so I dated people from other schools. These are the longest relationships I've had...I had a boyfriend for almost two years, we went to each others formals.... until he got arrested the night before mine, and we broke up (i was unaware of the drug issues he had). Then as we were talking about getting back together, he found out he got someone pregnant so that ended that. He was a really amazing person, who just got mixed into the wrong things at the end of the day, but none the less an amazing person. He was easily the first guy to make me feel like the center of the world, it was a beautiful and pure relationship.

I then dated every high school stereotype I could find, to see what I wanted. I had a really nice guy who respected me as a woman, but just wasn't right, so I moved on. I dated a Marine who was the best gentleman in the world and perfect, but not for me.

The next one started the summer before my senior year of h.s. about a year after the other ended. I dated people in between but never really like anyone. I got set up this time and it worked out really well. We went to formals, parties everything together and it was amazing. When college started we lived in diff. states, so i would go to visit on my time off and he came home for holidays. I moved closer to be with him, and I love my school and my decision to move regardless of any outcomes. however before i moved, he cheated on me and lied about it. we didn't speak for 2 months when he showed up at my birthday party at home and we reconnected. we talked constantly and when i moved we were officially back together. two years later, after a lot of love, turmoil and pain we broke up again. it was a shock to me at the time, but he had cheating again. in hindsight our relationship was over for a really long time, but to betray someone as a friend like that is unthinkable. no one ever wants to let go of their first true love, but i have mine. to this day it hurts, and i don't think that hurt will ever really go away.

So that brings me to my present sort of. right after my break-up i was lucky to meet a really true guy, due to my moving back north we never dated, but he was able to get me to laugh, and go out, and get me to feel emotions that i thought i had lost. most of all he made me feel more beautiful than any beauty queen in the state of south carolina, and thats a lot of girls let me tell ya. .... ( i reserve the right to elaborate on this later)

Men are a huge maker or breaker in women's lives, I really feel strongly on that. As women we need to weed out the good ones from the bad ones. I think its safe to say I've been with the good the bad and the ugly. But what doesn't work for one woman will work for a another, so I hope this helps women see that while we need to guard our hearts, we need to test all the waters to find out fish in that sea.